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Writer's pictureHelen Escott

Stop being so Goddamn miserable!


When I wake up in the morning, I always believe that something wonderful is going to happen to me during the day.


It is in my nature to smile at everyone and generally be a positive person. Irritating, I know.

I also know not everyone is like that. I do not understand people who get up in the morning and start their day by thinking of everything they hate about their lives.

You are alive Goddamn it! Stop being so miserable!


I just got off the phone with a friend who told me she spent the entire morning being angry at her husband. He did not clean the snow off her car before leaving for work. Think about that… her husband was at work and did not even know he did something wrong. So, she phoned him and told him off. Like he does not have enough things going on at his office to piss him off. Now his wife is chastising him like a child. Their sex life must be awesome!


My response was “Maybe he was running late. Clean the snow off your own car. Your arms aren’t broke!” I just really could not understand. Why was it his job to clean off her car? Why is she letting it ruin her day? Why did she feel the need to call him at work and ruin his day over something so lame?


Is it because misery loves company? She was miserable so she felt the need to make him miserable.


That is a morning she will never get back. That is a husband who will never forget how small she made him feel.


I texted my husband “I am not wearing any underwear…… because you didn’t do the goddamn laundry!”


If you are going to bitch at least make it hot.


He texted back, “Some arse on ya though.”


I think that is called “Sexting.”


I used to love social media. I enjoyed going to Facebook in the morning to see what my friends and family where up to, look at baby or vacation pictures, find new recipes. Basically, finding out what is going on in their lives. Lately, I find I am staying away from social media because apparently, most people on my friend list have been up all night with diarrhea, are obsessed with Donald Trump, are constantly sharing every crazy story they see without doing any research it to find out if it is real, or just want to complain about everything in their lives! I had no idea what complaining, homophobic, bigots they are.

Social media is becoming hateful media.


I unfriended one person who constantly posted updates on her medical condition. One day it was “In so much pain today. People don’t appreciate how hard it is for me to get out of bed.” Then an hour later she posted a picture of herself driving a snowmobile.


The only reason someone posts something like that is for pity.


There is nothing I hate more than someone constantly looking for pity. I have a friend who is paralyzed from the neck down, in a wheelchair, and needs a caregiver just to get dressed. He posted this to his Facebook page today, “Life is good. I love the way the sun is shining on the snow.”


Seriously? You have diarrhea and you felt the need to tell everyone? Why? What is worse is the people who encourage it by liking it or posting things like “Get well soon”, “Thinking about you".


Thinking about you? Ok. So, she is on the toilet with her pants around her ankles shitting a blue streak and you are thinking about her doing that.


Not me. I am unfriending her. She just ruined my breakfast. I hope her diarrhea lasts for a week.


Share all you want but keep your diarrhea to yourself.


Then it is the never-ending Trump sharing! It is so important to keep up on politics in today’s world but keep it real people! Enough of the comb-over jokes, the memes of his wife giving him the evil eye, the bullying of his son, the “If you don’t agree with me, you’re a stupid Trump-loving idiot!” Or “some actress from the 80’s who couldn’t get media attention if she robbed a bank but is now all over the internet says you MUST hate him or you’re not a real woman!”


My entire feed was filled with pictures of Donald Trump, and of course the one friend with diarrhea.


I cannot take it anymore. I need pictures of dogs being cute, videos of screaming goats and evil cats. I miss the old Facebook.


I have lots of things I can bitch about. I save that up for when hubby comes come from work. I do not feel the need to share with anyone else.


I choose to find good things about my day. I am grateful for the blessings in my life.

I know something wonderful has already happened to me today. My kids told me they loved me before they left for school. My dog is curled up by my feet. My tea is hot. After two kids and 26 years my husband still texts me “Some arse on ya though.”


How could my day get any better?


Well at least I am not sitting on the toilet shitting a blue streak reading about Trump’s media coverage!

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