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Why do cell phones always fall in the toilet?
I've spent the last year trying to decide if I am going to buy myself an Iphone. My kids got them for Christmas last year. I have a...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


Who the hell gave me a baby?
I wanted children when I was a child, by the time I hit my twenties I knew it was a bad idea. I had a plant once that I called Robert,...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20207 min read


What were you thinking?
Remember that scene from "Sex and the City 2" when Miranda quits her job as a corporate lawyer because her boss refuses to listen to her....

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


They called it puppy love
I just realized that I would never feed my dog "No Name" dog food, but I buy "No Name" food for my kids all the time! I think she's...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20205 min read


There's no "pause" in menopause!
I have been driving around the indoor parking lot at the shopping mall for about twenty minutes. A couple comes out through the door and...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20205 min read


Then a hero comes along
Not all heroes wear their underwear on the outside or fly around in capes wearing spandex. Most live their lives quietly not knowing that...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read


The Sisterhood of W.I.N.E. - Women in need of excitement.
"Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates, and guys are just people to have fun with. " Sex and the city. Remember back in high school....

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read


The secret to a good marriage is a good pot-roast
A happy marriage is easy to achieve if you know what you're doing. I discovered early in mine that a pot-roast can greatly improve your...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


The Goldwing and the Cat
Fall is in the air and hubby says it's time to put the Goldwing in storage for the winter. He is going to start winterizing the bike this...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


The best way to lose weight… dog!
The best way to lose weight is… dog! No, you don’t EAT it, you WALK it (that’s WALK not WOK). It’s called the “Dog Diet.” Over the years,...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


Don’t talk to your teenaged daughter like I do. It doesn’t work!
I can’t remember the last time my teenaged daughter asked for advice. Advice on anything! I think I’ve been replaced by Google. I think...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20202 min read


Supermodels can’t really fly
While flipping through my favourite fashion magazine I began to notice some weird trends: 1. Someone shot all the supermodels with a...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


Spring Cleaning in August
I realize I am a little late for Spring cleaning. It is August. I wish I could just shove the whole house into the dishwasher and be done...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read


Tweeting in the 80s
Thank God we didn’t have social media when we were teenagers! We are the last generation that can lie to our kids about our teenage...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read


I won’t march under the banner “Slut” not even to stop sexual violence
Oh, I can hear some of you now, “You don’t support women!” Yes I do. I just refuse to call a woman, myself, my daughter, my mother or my...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


Six and a baby
We went to Mexico in early March with our whole family. I was so excited to go but not just for the hot, sunny days and clear, blue...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read


September Blues
I love September. I have always loved the beginning of the school year. New books, new clothes, new teachers and catching up with old...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20206 min read


Retirement a time to find out who you are
Today was the first day I enjoyed retirement. Which is weird because I retired two years ago. I brewed a pot of coffee, turned the TV on...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20208 min read


Remember that girl we bullied in 1998, Monica Lewinsky? Have you apologized to her yet?
1998 seems like a hundred years ago. I was in my early 30s and working in radio when the story of the Monica Lewinsky affair with Bill...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


What’s “real” about the “Real Housewives” of anywhere?
A friend told me I had to watch the Real Housewives reality show. These type of shows have never interested me. I don’t watch TV for...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read
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