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I want to be the night-mayor (pronounced nightmare) of St. John’s

Updated: Mar 2, 2021

Being the mayor of the city of St. John’s can’t be an easy job. Who would want it? I certainly wouldn’t.

Your day would be filled with fighting with unions, administration work, listening to complaining people all day long. You only get to leave your office to kiss babies and attend boring functions.

Who would want that? To me it would be a punishment.

What I want to be is the night mayor of St John’s. Yes, you can pronounce it as nightmare.

The night mayor would be the one who comes in at 6 o’clock with a big mug of coffee and does the work that should be done. The night mayor does not sign checks or attend functions or deal with administration bullshit. The night mayor is the one who gets crap done.

For example, as the nightmare I would first of all rip up the policy and procedure book around contracts. I would make sure that any company getting a contract from the city would have to work seven days a week 24 hours a day until the job is done. And if the job is not done on time, every day that it’s delayed the contractor will have to pay the city.

I would breathe life into the downtown section. The downtown core of every city is the heart. Our heart is on life-support. A drive down Water Street shows you an abandoned buildings, graffiti, and panhandlers chasing you for coins.

Our politicians have put the ‘political’ in politically correct. They are afraid to offend the pan handler, must be all the taxes that they pay. They are afraid to attract business to downtown.

They did come up with the Water Street mall but that seems to have offended people up on Duckworth Street. There’s no shortage of offended people in the city.

As the night mayor, I would make the Water Street mall a permanent thing twelve months a year. Open everyday.

I would also limit taped music. We have an abundance of musicians in this province. Hire them! Rewrite the nightclub permit to say during eight pm to midnight music has to be live.

I would encourage the police to put a walking beat down through Water Street, Duckworth Street, the Waterfront and George Street with a satellite office on one of those streets. It would be open 24 hours a day. That way if someone is a crime victim police can act quickly. We need to put the police back into the communities. Get them out of cars.

As night mayor I would have all sidewalks around school zones cleared first. Houses with front yards would be responsible to clear the snow on the sidewalk in front of them as is done in other cities. This will take the pressure off snow clearing and allow them to focus on areas that need to be done.

I would put speed bumps in front off all crosswalks and school zones. I would make traffic circles one lane. Don’t even get me started on the one by Costco.

I would make bus rides free. That’s it. If you need to ride the bus, it’s free.

Also sell Mile One. Why are we keeping this albatross around our necks?

I would give businesses downtown free parking passes for employees. People making minimum wage should not have to put quarters into a meter.

I would bring back midnight New Years Eve fireworks and hold an 8 p.m. party in Bannerman Park for kids. (Considering this change was made with no consultation with businesses or the public and yes, I did ask for all council notes on this.)

Dogs would be banned from the Regatta. Idiots would be banned from the city.

This is just the start of my political platform.

I am just warning you, I will be running in the next St. John’s City Council Election. But not for mayor, for night mayor.


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