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The Politics of Pockets

Christian Dior is alleged to have said, "Men have pockets to keep things in, women for decoration."

But Alanis Morissette sang: 'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket -And the other one is givin' a peace sign.

But what kind of jeans is Alanis wearing? Because I can’t get my hand in the pocket of my Levis or Guess or Old Navy. The pockets are not big enough to fit my hand.

What Mr. Dior and Alanis didn’t know was that Apple would invent an iPhone that was 6.1 inches!

One thing COVID dressing has done for me is eliminated the purse. I now use an iPhone wallet. I just don’t feel the need to drag around a ten-pound purse full of makeup I don’t use and a bulky wallet full of cards I don’t need.

But where do I put my phone wallet? Most days… in my bra.

Yes, the bra is the new purse. So, make sure you buy one with good support because it will also have to hold your car keys.

Gives a whole new meaning to stuffing your bra.

I don’t understand why designers of women’s clothes won’t give us pockets big enough to hold anything!

What we get is suits, shirts and pants with faux pockets or no pockets.

My husband can fit a one-inch-thick wallet in his back pocket, put his keys in the inside pocket of his blazer and stuff countless business cards in his coat pocket. But I’m always left holding the bag. Literally, because I am female, I have to carry a bag!

If we do get a pocket, it is usually so small you can’t fit anything into it. Seriously, if you are wearing women’s jeans, stand up, put your hand in the front pocket and measure how far it goes in. At best, you can get a lipstick in there but that’s it. You certainly would not be able to hide a tampon in your jeans pocket.

It comes down to the politics of pockets. Yes, it’s a real thing.

There was a believe back in the days of yore that if women had pockets, they would carry around secrets, like spells! Or private things like plans to take over the world. Or maybe even something deadly like a pistol.

That’s all true, we absolutely would carry spells, plans to take over the world and pistols if we had pockets. But the real reason womens clothes don’t have pockets is that as long as male clothing designers make womens clothes without pockets, women will have to buy purses.

Yes, it’s the purse industry that is taking away our pockets.

It’s also because most clothes are designed by men who want us to look like the Kardashians with big child-bearing hips and incredibly thin waists. Carrying a pistol, spells, evil plans, keys, tampons, and an iPhone would take away from that required female silhouette.

Believe it or not, there was a Rational Dress Society, founded in 1891 in London. It was part of the movement for Victorian dress reform. It described its purpose thus: The Rational Dress Society protests against the introduction of any fashion in dress that either deforms the figure, impedes the movements of the body, or in any way tends to injure the health. It protests against the wearing of tightly fitting corsets; of high-heeled shoes; of heavily weighted skirts, as rendering healthy exercise almost impossible; and of all tie down cloaks or other garments impeding on the movements of the arms. It protests against crinolines or crinolettes of any kind as ugly and deforming. It requires all to be dressed healthily, comfortably, and beautifully, to seek what conduces to birth, comfort, and beauty in our dress as a duty to ourselves and each other.

I think it is time we dust off the Rational Dress Society and form a new chapter because I need a place to put stuff.

I can’t wait for the day when some guy yell: Hey lady, is that a phone in your pocket – or are you just happy to see me.

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