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In these shoes?
I know exactly when my shoe obsession began. I was in grade 2. It was the 70s. Back then everybody wore "gators" or "galoshes" in the...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20202 min read


If I just had five more minutes
Sometimes I wonder if I got dropped over and over again as a child. I just continue to do the most stupid things. Over Christmas I left...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


Who hasn’t thrown their back out taking off control top panty-hose and Spanx?
I have. I am not even joking. Here's what happened.... Friday night hubby BBQed ribs and as usual, cooked way too many, but they were...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20205 min read


Boy bands: Rollermania forever! The Tartan Army lives on
I loved Les! Which Bay City Roller did you love? Remember Rollermania Bang! Bang! Bang! My bedroom door bends in the middle from my...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


I've got it in the bag
I actually do have it in the bag! My chiropractor tells me every week. At each visit he lifts my purse and weighs it. He once clocked it...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


I am going to step on your humbug
So Shopper's Drug Mart stopped playing Christmas music because customers complained it was too early. Really? Didn't they care about the...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


How often can a woman pee?
My son has size 10 feet and he hasn't stopped growing yet. I knew when he as an embryo that he was going to have big feet because he used...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20205 min read


Hiding evidence in plain sight
I have hubby trained to call me when he is on the way home from work each day. Not because I really care if he has left work or not, or...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read


Madonna's Rebel Heart Tour- and why I am never eating seafood tacos again
While Madonna and her flying nuns were pole dancing on Crucifix stripper poles, I was throwing up on a security guard in the lobby of the...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20206 min read


Holy Heart of Mary Girls
I had the pleasure of attending my high school reunion this week. The graduates of Holy Heart of Mary came together to talk about our...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20203 min read


Have you tried men’s razors on your legs?
My daughter asked me to buy men’s razors instead of women’s razors the next time we needed them. I told her “No” women’s razors are made...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20202 min read


Happy Father's Day Mom!
I bought my first Father's Day Card when I was 32-years-old. It was my son's first Father's Day. Up until then I didn't know the exact...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


Granny panties
For the record, I do not wear granny panties! They are a nylon-spandex with reinforced tummy control panel support shaping panty that are...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


Girls night!
Fathers, be good to your daughters Daughters will love like you do Girls become lovers who turn into mothers So mothers, be good to your...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


"Fifty Shades of Grey" - Or my version for those 40 and over "Fifty Ways a Day"
I've read the first two books: "Fifty Shades of Grey" and "Fifty Shades Darker." It's ok. I think this book glamorizes sexual deviancy...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20204 min read


The only thing to fear is fear itself
“The only thing to fear is fear itself” Winston Churchill. Humans are the only living creature that will sense fear but won't run from...

Helen Escott
Sep 29, 20205 min read


Does anybody know how to be a good mother?
I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to being a mother. I have been winging it for years. I think my kids already know. There are...

Helen Escott
Sep 28, 20206 min read


Crack dealers in the hood!
So my doorbell rings one morning and my dog loses her mind as usual. I am not expecting anyone so I look out through the glass door to...

Helen Escott
Sep 28, 20204 min read


Hubby asked “Why do you let Christmas stress you out?” So I killed him
Hubby is sitting in his comfortable chair, playing solitaire on his iPad and watching the Sports Channel out of the corner of his eye....

Helen Escott
Sep 28, 20203 min read


Bringing sexy back with lingerie
I love my comfy nightdress. It’s made from soft T-shirt material and has a round neck, so when I am eating chips in bed the crumbs never...

Helen Escott
Sep 28, 20204 min read
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